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In the ninth of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the ‘Let The Banter Begin’ series. In this episode, we look at our next opponents, Arsenal. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you’re PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form – on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
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Previous Let The Banter Begin articles:
How did you enjoy your holiday in Israel?’
Did you visit the Wailing Wall?’
‘Yes – but I couldn’t get anyway near it for the Arsenal supporters!’
Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!
Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!
Did you hear about the Conservative MP who was found dead in an Arsenal strip?
The police had to dress him up in women’s underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second!
Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
A: It saves time.
Q: Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?
A: So they know which end to wipe.
A woman buys a car in London. On her way home she notices that only one radio station works. She immediately turns the car around and heads back to the dealer.
Oi,’ she says, ‘the bleedin’ radio in this motor doesn’t work! It only receives one station!’
The dealer replies, ‘It’s voice activated. You tell it want kind of music you want to listen to, and it automatically changes.’
This satisfies the woman, who immediately gets back into the car and drives for home. On the way, she says, ‘Classical…’
The car radio automatically switches to classical music.
He then says, ‘rock and roll…’
The car radio automatically switches to a Rolling Stones tune.
Again, she speaks to the car radio…
The car radio automatically switches to a Garth Brooks song.
Light then, a guy in a Jag pulls in front of her and cuts her off…
Wanker!!!!’ she screams.
The car radio automatically switches to an Arse match on Capital ‘Gooner’ Gold.
Q: Why do Arsenal men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Q: What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job?
A: ‘Can I have a Big Mac!’
Q: How do you make an Arsenal fan’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a torch in his ears.
Q: What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head?
A: A Space Invader.