Man City News

Let The Banter Begin – Newcastle United

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In the seventh of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the ‘Let The Banter Begin’ series.

In this episode, we look at our next opponents, Newcastle United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you’re PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form – on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.



Previous Let The Banter Begin articles:

Liverpool

Chelsea (2)

Celtic

Chelsea (1)

Aston Villa

Manchester United

Fire brigade phones Kevin Keegan in the early hours of Sunday morning…

King Kevin, St James Park is on fire!’

The cups man save the cups!’ replies Kev.

Well…the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.’

Q: What’s the difference between the Toon keeper and a taxi driver?

A: A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.

Q: Why do Geordie supporters have moustaches?

A: So they can look like their mothers.

Q: What do Toon fans and laxatives have in common?

A: Both irritate the absolute crap out of you

The nativity play has been cancelled this year in Newcastle.

They have 11 donkeys, 1 Wise man and no Messiah!

Did you hear oxo are bringing out a special edition black and white cube for Newcastle United – it’s called laughing stock!

Mike Ashley today announced he would bring some new faces into Newcastle United.

Peter Beardsley has asked if he can have one.

Q: What do you call a Toon fan with half a brain?

A: Gifted

Newcastle United have just brought out a new calendar out for rest of season. Each month has a different manager.

Newcastle have moved quickly to halt rumours of a rift between Mike Ashley and Alan Shearer. A club spokesman said, ‘It’s ridiculous to suggest that there is a personality clash between the two – everybody at the club knows that Shearer hasn’t got one.’



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