Date: 8th August 2010 at 2:51am
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This edition is actually late on purpose. Gasp. I was hoping to avoid mentioning the Milner and Balotelli deals that have been going on since time began to bring you news of their ACTUAL signings. Unfortunately, they are still ongoing, and as such, get a mention. That was the mention.

So, on with other more exciting news! Chelsea striker Salomon Kalou warned Manchester City that their “summer spending spree will not guarantee them the Barclays Premier League title” . Yes you read correctly, Kalou of Chelsea.

Chelsea`s Frank Lampard also got in on the act, as did defenders Koscielny and Vermaelen of Arsenal. None of these stories get any links as their drivel doesn`t deserve to be read.

One player who sees things differently is none other than ‘World Player of the Year`, Lionel Messi, who stated, “I thought it would take City years to win the title, but looking at the players they have I think they can do it and Carlitos` (Tevez) goals can fire them above Chelsea and United”. The Diminutive winger also stated that Alex Ferguson AKA ‘Baconface` showed no respect to Argentine team mate Carlos Tevez.

Hmm? Shall I listen to the opinion of Lampard and some other random squad players, or ‘World Player of the Year`, Lionel Messi? I`ll go with the latter.

Adebayor told Tuttosport on Thursday that he wants to play for Juventus. The Togolese striker, who`s playing style resembles that of a K-holed indie kid on a Friday night, was reportedly quoted as saying “I am considering the many offers I have received”.

Subsequently, this was revealed as a complete and utter lie by City, who dismissed the reports via twitter. For those of you too old to know what twitter is, it is a banana shaped bird that dwells in Oldham. Honest.

Finally, the eagerly awaited opponents of City`s Europa League qualifier were made known to us, the Citizens kicking off in Romania against Timisoara.

Elsewhere, Aston Villa play Rapid Vienna, while Woy Hodgeson`s Liverpool will be taking a trip to Turkey, where their fans will be belting out melancholic renditions of ‘You`ll Never Wok Alone` against Trabzonspor.



Liverpool F.C. has been subject to intense speculation this week due to a reported offer for the club from Chinese business man Kenny Huang, on behalf of China Investment Corporation, the country`s sovereign wealth fund.

Since being reported, it turns out that CIC are not involved in the deal after all, while other speculated investors have also have denied any involvement in the deal.

Furthermore, and rather like Michael Gove`s royal cock-up regarding the school academies, it turns out that Huang was merely registering his interest and hadn`t in fact tabled an offer, despite what the British press reported.

 

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