Date: 7th July 2009 at 2:27pm
Written by:


Now I know we all like a good English sporting hero in the mould of Alf Tupper, ‘The Tough of the Track’ but come on, Stuart Pearce for England Manager beggars believe.

Wswilly3 sent us the following…

At this point please may I explain to all those under the age of 65 that Alf Tupper (as opposed to Stuart Pearce) was a character in a 1950’s comic called The Wizard. Amongst other things Alf (not Stuart) scored a century against Australia in the morning and won the Olympic Marathon in the afternoon, of the same day and put his success down to a diet of fish and chips. I am sure you get the picture.

Being fair to Stuart, he was a wholehearted footballer who served Manchester City well as a player. He would also probably be the first to agree that he has more in common with the characteristics of Alf Tupper than those of a successful England football manager but stranger things have been known to happen. What then do the English press see as his major credentials?

They seem to comprise of a bulldog spirit, a missed penalty, a fairly inglorious spell as Manager of Manchester City and getting England U21’s to the semi finals of a tournament before losing 4-0 in the final. He also makes a mean cup of cappuccino for Fabio Capello and knows when to say <>‘si’.

Whilst at City his major managerial contribution; apart from signing an expensive Greek born centre-forward playing in Holland who was rubbish; was to be nice to all concerned including referees, opposition managers and TV reporters. It all got really tedious and was like having a politically correct, probation officer as manager or like reading a football report in the Guardian newspaper. It was all so completely sanitised and horribly in control, without saying anything of substance.

In addition there was always the reference to him being an ex-bricklayer or was it an ex-electrician, who still mucked out his wife’s stables. Well that’s what I most remember and I certainly don’t remember much good football being played by City during his tenure. Do you?

So what about his judgement and tactical acumen? Checkmate, game, set and match; for in that area nobody could possibly argue that he has any, especially after the U21 final. We needed more strength in midfield and up front, so he subs Onuaha with another centre half, who wasn’t as good and then orchestrates the complete loss of the team’s shape.

‘Danke schoen, Herr Pearce, zu ist ein gut man, arh wunderbar goal number drei und goal number vier. Vot fun’.

No, not even the FA could appoint dear, nice, well mannered Stuart (apart from to a fourth official at the U21 finals) to the England Manager role. Could they?