As told to ghost writer, Wswilly3
I am now in a position to tell the unexpurgated story of ‘Tudor and his Three Wishes’, for as all you good people know, he has been very reluctant to reveal the full facts until now. However after a night of contemplation on the scotch, when the servers went down, he has thankfully had a change of heart and we all can now enjoy his amazing tale.
It was about two years ago that our hero was walking down a side street in Salisbury just after closing time. He was a little worse for wear and it was a cold and miserable evening, typical of Wiltshire for that time of year. He had his hands in his pockets and was kicking at stones in the road, when his foot came into contact with a piece of metal that he duly kicked.
Now our hero wasn’t that badly gone, for he immediately realized that this was not an ordinary piece of metal but an old heating lamp. ‘Might do for a car boot sale’, he said aloud, as he picked it up but suddenly out sprang a smiling genie that looked a bit like Georgious Samaras, no, on second thought it didn’t have his greasy leer, no more an oily smile, a bit like Sven’s when he was after the ladies.
Well our hero was amazed but instead of running away he stayed resolute, just like a man that has watched Manchester City for many years. At this point the genie spoke and offered our Tudor, three wishes. Now without thinking for more than a second Tudor exclaimed, ‘I wish for Manchester City to be bought by the richest man in the world, a man who has oil wells and camels and harems and…’ At this point the genie told our Tudor to cut the crap but that he would arrange for Manchester City to be bought by the richest Arabian gentleman in the world.
Now, it has to be admitted that at this point our Tudor was getting a bit excited and had become a bit one track in the pursuit of his lifelong dream. In retrospect he might have wished to have taken a less focused choice but before the genie could ask him for his other wishes, he burbled out, ‘and for the second wish I want Manchester City to win the League Title and Champions League and for my third I want the Theatre of Dreams turned into a greyhound track, all within five years’.
The rest as they say is history and as we all know we have already embarked on the path to satisfying all of Tudor’s three wishes.
Now the point of this tale is that this is probably the most exciting time ever to be a Manchester City fan. As such the moral is that if you don’t go round with a smile on your face, that goes from side to side, rather like in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, then you never ever will, whilst watching a football team. This is no time for self doubt or reticence, as you will miss part of the enjoyment. Yes, as in all fairy tales there are nasty characters like Old Baron Bacon of Ragsville; the thick Bakers Boy, Rooney and a lot of green eyed goblins but these only serve to make our story even more exciting. However take my word for it, that it will all end very happily, as all such stories always do. So smile you Manchester City fans and wait for Tudor’s remaining two wishes to happen.